Talking sounds so easy but it’s soo difficult to say hard things. Especially when you’re in a committed relationship, you gotta learn how to vibe with what one another say. That’s when communicating becomes less easy, so I’ve got options to help you out!
What is communication? It’s defined by the Oxford Dictionary
as the imparting or exchanging of information or news. Now while I agree with this definition I strongly believe that you can communicate not only with your words but with your body.
Verbal communication is important but not always easy. What’s worse is that sometimes you both want the same thing, but because neither of you are saying anything you aren’t getting there.
There was a study
showing that 67.5% of marriages ended mainly because of communication problems.
Fear of communicating with your partner can lead to a dissatisfactory relationship and you can easily end up with excuses like this:
“Oh but my partner already does ‘this’ for me, so I don’t feel like I really need the ‘other thing’ that I really want…. Because my partner does ‘this’ already”
“I’ve already tried to talk to my partner and it didn’t work… so what’s the point in trying again?”
“I just don’t know how to say what I want to say and I just know if I try I’ll say it wrong and everything will be more messed up”
These excuses are the ones you say to cover up what you’re afraid to say. It’s on you for not speaking up, your partner can’t read your mind, you have to tell them what you want.
Don’t worry it’s not just your fault, it’s both of your faults for failing to communicate.
And don’t tell me you communicate with your partner if you don’t say the hard stuff. Communication of all ways matters, but if you only have the small easy conversations and skip the hard ones, you aren’t doing the work. Simple communications like these, aren’t doing the hard work:
“Hey babe, how was your work day?” or “Beef or chicken for dinner?”
Not communicating on a level that will help or change your relationship for the better or give you what you need, can leave in a perpetual state of unsatisfied. You don’t need something? Well maybe your partner does and you won’t know unless you both start talking. You need to plan it, it doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be planned. Why? Because a plan gets you started, a plan gives you confidence and a plan can help you accomplish your goal.
What happens if the plan goes awry? It probably will, but that’s okay! You’ve figured out what you want to say and how you want to say it, so even if it doesn’t go your way it can still help you keep on track with what you need to say.