This is the first part to the art of happiness.
You can read part two here, or
read part three here!
Ask yourself “What do you want in life?”
Chances are you’ll say things like money, power, fame, being with friends and family.
Those things would all be nice…
...but what about, simply, “To be happy.”
According to the OECD, in 2013 The United States is ranked sixth on the list of happiest countries in the world.
Now, sixth really isn’t that bad considering there are 196 countries in the world.
But, why isn’t The United States higher on the list? We are the richest country in the world.
Surprisingly (not really), money doesn’t have all that much to do with happiness at all.
Turns out there are a ton of different factors that go into our happiness.
And we’ll get a little more into that a bit later on.
Now, I don’t like the fact that some people aren’t happy. You only get one life to live, so why not make it the best?
So, my goal is to help you become a happier person.
Time to learn how you can turn that frown up-side down.
"The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself." – Benjamin Franklin
Here’s the deal...
It’s not like once you read and consume this information you will immediately become happier.
You actually have to change your lifestyle and implement the tips I give you in here to see results.
But I’m sure you knew that already.
Why you need to be happy
Besides the awesome feeling of being happy, there are a few other reasons to keep a smile on your face.
First off, happy people tend to be a lot more generous. This is an awesome benefit because it not only helps you become happier, but also helps others around you become happy.
The second benefit is emotional contagion. Research shows that people tend to mirror other people’s emotions. Hang out with someone who is negative all the time and you will slowly become negative as well. The same goes for people that are happy. Others will actually start becoming happier around you.
Another reason I want you to become happy is because happy people respond well to adversity. Like if you accidently pound your thumb with a hammer while building a house. Now a happy person would still respond negativity to hitting their thumb, but the effects wouldn’t last as long. They get over negativity faster than someone who is less happy.
The last reason I’ll share with you is that happy people are more productive and less needy. This means you will work harder and do a better job. Happy people are also less likely to become sick.
So, as you can see happiness is not a selfish emotion. It not only benefits us, but benefits everyone around us. Happiness is a powerful emotion.
Now let’s see what we can do to become a little bit happier.
Why aren’t people happy?
If you’re someone who doesn’t care why people aren’t happy and are just like, “Show me how to be happy now!” then you can skip this part. But if you like to know science then read this section because it’s quite interesting, in my opinion.
I think the biggest reason people aren’t happy is because they have the wrong idea of what happiness is.
These people pursue things that they think will make them happy, but in reality don’t. We chase bigger houses, better cars, more money, but studies show time and time again that we don’t actually need these things to be happy.
People have simpler needs than they think. Besides your basic needs, all you really need is to find meaning in your work, and at least one personal relationship. Most people don’t realize this and believe they need to be chasing more when the opposite is true.
Another big reason is that people aren’t rational when it comes to happiness. For example, say you get two different job offers:
- One job pays $50,000 per year, and is something you love to do.
- One job pays $75,000 per year, but is something you hate to do.
Most people would have a hard time declining the bottom job offer, even though the top job offer is something they would enjoy doing. The top job offer would make someone far happier, even though the bottom job offers more money.
There’s a huge difference in how much we say happiness means to us and how much it actually does. In other words we want to become happier, but are working against ourselves because we don’t do anything about it. We somehow magically assume if we go about our normal lives we will become happier.
Changes you need to make in your life to be happy
Tim Kasser, Professor of Psychology at Knox College, has done various studies that constantly show a direct relationship between aspirations and happiness.
There are two main types of aspirations: Extrinsic and intrinsic.
Extrinsic – has to do with something external. This could be anything from rewards to praise and depends mostly on reactions of others. Included are things such as money, image, and status.
Intrinsic – are focused on something internal. This has to do with natural growth and mostly satisfies our psychological needs. Included are things such as personal growth, relationships, and the desire to help.
Kesser’s results show that the intrinsic aspiration leads us to be far happier, while the extrinsic aspiration results in a lower well-being.
And he isn’t the only one who found this out. There have been several controlled studies by many psychologists, such as Randy P. Auerbach of Harvard Medical School, which produced the same results.
This makes sense to you if you read everything above this.
This means to be truly happy you need to focus more on intrinsic goals rather than extrinsic goals.
How to be happy by converting yourself from extrinsic goals to intrinsic goals
We are not completely aware of our aspirations, but by becoming conscious of them we can change them.
Our goal here is to shift from our extrinsic thinking to intrinsic thinking.
In the next article, we take a deeper look at extrinsic goals and why they don’t actually make you happy.
Be sure to share this with someone you think could benefit from this.
Leave comments below with your tips on how to be happy.
This is the first part to the art of happiness.
You can read part two here, or
read part three here!